Oftentimes, we see people having better situations than us. They may have better finances, better vacation, better salary, promotions, or better family situation. You may get jealous, and no one is excempted to this feeling. We are all humans. You may rays eyebrows and might think, “Why do they deserve this all and not myself?” Our feelings can be resentment, jealousy, bitterness. It’s an initial human reaction. However, you can correct this mentality.
The truth is we also need to see how we progress, how you, for example, improve struggles in the past like time management, financial management may be better than your last months spending. Better than your exercise and self-care, you are putting yourself first above all. You must give yourself a tap on the shoulder because you are doing very well-being allowing yourself to be in the process. You might not have a lot of money, but you don’t have a bunch of credit cards or Klarna debt. Having zero debt nowadays is almost impossible. Manageable debt, calculated risk of paying a home and car that you need every day, is another story.
The discipline is bound to teach us how to appreciate our efforts to improve day to day.
When you are happy for others, the flow energy unblocked, and the more you appreciate your situation now, the more you will be in the right direction of your own progress, not them, your own progress. How did I get to this topic? This is also how I deal with relationship conversation I am into. How I rethink after commenting to others. It can be towards a friend, family members or anyone around us. As I journal daily, as I listen to my own thoughts, it can be a repeated mistake I made in the past, wrong decision I made or even an event where I end up overwhelmed. Reflecting doesn’t mean stressing, I tell myself as very human in me always panicking, that part of me I have already dealt with, it is now more of recognising the come back of your thoughts can be also be a way of learning from that very situation.
Filter Your Influence
Mindfulness changed how I looked things at and since everything is accessible right now on internet, podcast, all channels, books and more we have to learn how to filter our influence.
Check your social follows, I started limiting my notification from people I think that are not encompass the horizon of my values, although I am working in a luxury brand, ( not mentioning which, if you know me personally you know). It takes a lot of effort not to be on the same direction others can take. For example on consumerism, buying, shopping, things that are not serving purpose. This, I have understood the difference of shopping excessively to shopping what you need, what my family need.
Use your time following podcast, podcast on the train, while walking. Or read a book 2-3 books per week you can start with one if you are too busy. I am reading on the train, on lunch break, on waiting rooms for doctor’s appointment, I read at the bus stop. basically, fuel your thoughts with valuable things that will contribute to your growth.
Unplugged, know when you need to stop checking you emails and socials every second. Put a time in a day that you must check email, I remember checking mine way back 2008 every week. That was not a disciple but a question of access. Now, that everything is accessible you can click everything away. One effective way is putting off all notification and only checking on the time you scheduled. We also, have no phones in the bedroom and no tv. Imagine, you are reading a book in front of a tv or on your phone while on tv. It doesn’t make sense and it is tiring your attention, your brain and your physical state also wear out.
Accept Your Own Flaws
Loving yourself in many ways, I believe that you must cultivate your invisible assets, which are kindness, honesty, thoughtfulness this way you recognised the savoury part of yourself, your character on how can you be able to achieve what’s enough for you. More and more we are facing many criticisms, we were set up since childhood on how the society should accept us. Not all aspects of your life should be perfect, if there are no challenge then life is meaningless.
Stay fit, exercise however do not aim first for good looks, aim for strength, endurance, longevity. If you are a parent, then you will still have long more beautiful years with your kids and spouse. Many people asked me why I work out? Why I run a lot, or skip rope? The goal is to be physically fit and mentally resilient.
Love the job you do, continue watering your own flower, be happy for your colleagues, create a beautiful work environment that you will enjoy. If you won’t you will end up hopping one job to another. Nourish your skills, learn with your colleagues, mentor and teach to share what you can do for others as service.
In some part you won’t be perfect and no one is, but you totally accept your beauty and flaws. Not saying you are going to be dumb about other things, try at least without trying you will never know.
Also, do not rely on those phone calls you never received, those unkind comments, do not count those. It’s okay if others won’t like you, you will be the first person to like yourself. Notice the beautiful relationships you have right now and nourish those.
Prioritised Your Goals
Choose from short-term goals to long-term goals, for your personal growth as a person, not only financially however, the importance on invisible wealth plays a lot of role.
Some people have their bank account as their goal, and see their value on how much money they make, what position they have at work, their social status, the car they drive. Some on how they look and they dressed, how much time they spent with their loved ones. It depends on your motivation and direction you would like to take. However, you have to think about what’s your values, through this you will be able to find beautiful goals such as improving your skills, learn how to drive, how to swim, learn one more language, pottery, flower arrange or another profitable hobby. Goals, shouldn’t always be extravagant, goals should be meaningful, big or small. Also, growth is not always growing your bank account, or increasing your financial wealth, buying another square foot of land. Growth is within, on how you nourish your soul, if the goal you set no matter how big or small makes your soul joyful then it is a fulfilment for you!
Focus On the Road You Take
Appreciate what you have, your family, what you have. Self-care is seen in many ways, in your job, how you care for yourself, how you accept your flaws. Doing this, will let you see your accomplishment better, what can you do as an individual not comparing yourself towards others always. Because the road they take is not the same road as you have, also, the time they have might not be your time. Timing is everything, in all aspects.
I appreciate how our life is beautifully knitted with our two wonderful kids, my husband who understands me, my role as a mother is indisputably fulfilling. My few friends, the small circle they are. Our jobs that are stable and permanent. The roof above our head, the warm blanket and you know my gratitude list will go on.
I hope you will also find the road out of social comparison and appreciate what you have, cultivate what you got and nourish how beautiful things are created for you life.